“You keep holding it in, but you have to let it out because it’s rotting your bones!”
I said those words to a loved one battling a serious illness, while also battling the sorrows in her soul. Pain so deep she tried for years to make sense of it and find relief, but only ends up rehearsing the wounds inflicted by others.
And I know what it’s like to nurse pain in secret, keeping it from my offenders because I thought they wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t care, or wouldn’t acknowledge their part—never realizing the harm I caused myself.
But Jesus knew.
And He stopped my “regularly scheduled programming” to write it out—to pen the poison as well as His prescription, because He came so I could live a full, whole life.
He came for you too.
Women Sit on So Much
Women are strong and capable, but somewhere along the line we bought into the nonsense that strong equals silent. So we swallow, and we swallow, and we swallow so much of our suffering. We do it as some sort of badge of honor, when we’re actually dishonoring ourselves and the ones we don’t tell they’ve hurt us.
There’s Honor in Truth
We honor ourselves and others when we speak up.
And sharing the truth of how someone’s actions injured you, isn’t always easy to say. It won’t be easy for them to hear either. But holding it in steals your joy and sucks the life out of you.
Cost of Living
And Jesus paid a hefty price for you to live.
So, if you can speak to the one who hurt you, do it clearly and calmly. You’re not doing it alone. Jesus is right there with you.
Tell her how her words and actions harmed you. And don’t worry about whether he will acknowledge his part or apologize. You’re not responsible for their response.
Get Rid of the Junk
And if the person is unwilling or unavailable to listen, write it out and read it to someone you trust—like Jesus, for starters.
Then get in His Word and replace those toxic thoughts with trustworthy truths about the God who always loves you, is always good to you, and only has good plans for you.
Your bones will thank you for it.
Holding it in does more harm than what was done to you.
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22, NIV
VANESSA A. HARRIS is an inspirational content creator and the author of DADDY’s Girl Forever and its devotional. She’s a physician turned stay at home mom, who’s never lost her NY wit. She needs it for the three inventive children she raises with her husband in Texas.